I Caved (an update)

Kids.  It’s a good day at the Willsap Ranch.  You might remember I wrote about my inability to actually cash in my flurry of gift cards due to the phenomenon I’ve labeled ‘The Candy Store Effect‘.  Well, lo and behold…I did it.  I bought some “candy” and it arrived in the mail today.

I think it all began last week when I had a much-needed fashion epiphany.  In a whim of sheer genius in the aisles of Target surrounded by rockin’ sweater dresses and striped turtlenecks, I chose a color palette to guide me through the insanity of shopping.  Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the color we all know and love….


And to celebrate my adoption of Gray-is-the-new-Lindsay, I set out to purchase a few goodies from the candy J.Crew store.

In the form of a…

Deliciously Preppy School Boy Blazer. Love, Love, Lurv this. As my lil bro quoting Rachel Zoe says…I die.

Wool Navy Schoolboy Blazer. Fabulous!

BUSTED.  I know this blazer is not gray.  It’s navy.  I love navy.  I feel beautiful in navy.  So I bought it. In Navy.

Tasty Boyfriend Sweatshirt Sweater.
Adorable and sexy.  It’s sexdorable.   However, I should have trusted my instincts and chosen the light gray version.  The dark gray is actually so dark you can’t see the fun sweatshirt details.

Merino Boyfriend Sweatshirt Sweater

Merino Boyfriend Sweatshirt Sweater - Adorable & Sexy!

Scrumptious Infinity Cardigan
.  It’s classic, simple, and really cute.  Okay, maybe I went a little overboard on the gray.  I still like it though. I’ll keep you, Infinity Cardigan. Now make me some dinner.

Infinity Cardigan

Dock-Stripe Perfect Shirt.
Fits perfectly.  I love a good, classic shirt.  It’s very thin and soft, but I can see this getting quite wrinkled.  Which means this shirt might be worn exactly ONCE, since I do not own an ironing board.

Dock-stripe Perfect Shirt. Do docks have stripes?

While we’re on the subject of ‘a perfectly fitting shirt’, I am completely in love with the beautifully tailored Brooks Brothers Non-iron Fitted Stretch Shirt.  It’s a splurge, but washes and hangs perfectly, and the fit is so gorgeous.  Sexy, smart, and classic.

And, I had another victory this week.  In a second whim of sheer genius (it’s been a good week), I FINALLY made it to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy curtains for our kitchen sink window.  Good Lord it’s high time!   I have wanted a new curtain for this kitchen for exactly 3.5 years.

Look out!  Things are happening people.  If I keep up this wave of accomplishment, I might even save the world…or the cheerleader, or figure out how on Earth Sarah Palin ever got famous.

Happy shopping!!

The Candy Store Effect

You know that giddiness you feel when you go to a restaurant and the menu is so awesome you can’t even handle it?  In fact, it’s so awesome, you are utterly paralyzed with indecision because you want 9 different things.  And then the “Oh my God, I’m finally out for dinner and I really want this to be good, so I cannot mess this up!” panic sets in.  You know that panic.  The time-honored dilemma of rushing to order when the waiter appears FAR too soon, and you say “I need a few more minutes!” or “I’ll order last!”, and the next ten minutes are spent completely consumed with…”I should have gotten the fried chicken and waffles instead of the croque madame!” (real examples from my brunch choices the other day)

Well, this phenomenon happens to me in practically EVERY situation life throws at me.   It is so pathetic.

Case in point – Gift cards.

I am in possession of  a ridiculous amount of gift cards* that I’ve received over time and have failed to put to good use.  These cards are for the usual suspects – fabulous home decor stores, clothing stores, and restaurants.  But for some reason, I cannot cash them in.  You may ask…”Why Lindsay?  What in tarnation is wrong with you?!”  The answer is simple.  It’s the Candy Store Effect.

I’m that proverbial kid in the candy store that is literally frozen by choice…by decision.  My old friends tease me all the time for my unmatched indecisiveness about absolutely anything.  Lately, I counter such observations accusations with…”Hey!  I bought my wedding dress in TWO hours – the first one I tried on!!”  See – here it is!  Isn’t she grand?

My fabulously twirling dress

Apparently this achievement doesn’t hold up.  People are not as impressed as I am with this fact.

I have a J. Crew summer rewards gift card that expires in 2 days, and I cannot for the life of me decide to what to buy.  All the pretty new fall clothes and accessories are just too wonderful!  How am I supposed to just pick a few things?!  This is FALL FASHION people!!!  I have been on J. Crew’s website 19 times in the past week.  It’s not looking good.

This same behavior has hampered my efforts to decorate our home.  How can it possibly take 6 weeks to pick out ivory curtains?  And there are only two stores in the mix.  I mean, C’MON!  This. Is. Hopeless.  The possibilities are endless. The privilege immense.  And I am sucking every last bit of joy out of the experience of FREE STUFF.

I love fashion and I love home design… a lot.  But you would never know it by looking at me or my house, because I never really do anything to reflect my love for these things.  Shallow as it is, maybe this will be the fire under my bottom to inspire change for me.  Maybe I should take this opportunity to actually dress the way I want to dress.  Or begin to decorate my home the way I’ve always wanted.  Like a kid in the candy store always figures out – you just have to take the plunge into the first candy jar (Swedish berries – my fav candy store candy), and then everything will work itself out.

I just need a few more minutes.

*Note to friends/family who like to give me gift cards. Don’t let this deter you. They WILL get used…eventually). 😉

I Need a Wife

I have a conundrum.  You see, I have the day off today, which is a really good thing.  Hooray!  I loves me a good day off.   Which is why I shot out of bed this morning, excited by the possibilities that come with day off.   My plan was to tackle the monstrous To Do list I created in my head last night.  Yet, so far, two hours in, I’m totally SUCKING at my day off.  I have a real shot at improving my overall happiness, our home’ s cleanliness, and my brain’s cluttered state if I could just tackle this F%#@ing TO DO list.  But, I don’t know where to begin.

This is how my morning has gone so far:

Woke up and attempted to fix my stupid iPhone with the help of Sandra from AT&T while enjoying a nice glass of iced coffee (i.e., left over coffee from the fridge).  After an hour of that super fun task, I said to myself…”Self…pick ONE thing to do and DO it!”.  Right.

So, I turned to the living room where I have piles of crap that need to find a home.  As I began devising a plan for crap removal, I noticed the blank spot on the wall above our TV and thought…”wouldn’t that poster of Wellington Harbor I bought in New Zealand SIX years ago look lovely there?”  Ah yes, the same poster I vowed to myself I would have professionally framed the second I made some real money.  Yeah – so you can see how I roll.  I have indeed made some money in the past 6 years, enough to at least get a few damn posters framed.  But no, couldn’t make that happen.  Now, Danimal and I have 15 posters we’d like to have framed and we keep saying…”as soon as we save up enough dough to get them all framed…”.  Sweet.

So, I go into the guest bedroom to look for the posters, because I’ve decided I’m going to get them framed TODAY, dammit!  But then I notice the guest beds still need to be made up with the clean sheets.  Stupid beds.   I love a nicely made bed, but these beds are jerks.  So I look under the bed to find the posters (doesn’t everyone store their posters under the bed) and instead of posters I find a box full of the beautiful towels we got as a wedding gift.  Yippee!  So naturally I move on to wanting to wash the beautiful towels so we can actually enjoy them and completely ditch the poster idea.  I walk down to the basement to wash the towels but the washer is full of the guest bedroom sheets that we forgot to dry. Doh!!  Son of a bitch!  Next.

As a coping tactic, I go upstairs where I decide to tackle the kitchen I single-handedly destroyed with my culinary prowess last night.  Here’s a pic.  Looks fun, eh?

My stupid messy kitchen. This is 100% my fault.

Like having a nicely made bed, having a clean and organized kitchen is critical to keeping me happy.  My bedroom could look like a tornado went through it, but if my bed is made, I’m happy.  Who’s with me?  Just as I start putting away clean dishes and loading dirty ones, my dad calls with a Facebook question.  This is his new thing.  Lately, I’ve gotten daily phone calls from my papa with Facebook questions.  I find this quite darling, so I’m not bothered by it.

So I drop everything and head to my computer for Dad’s Daily Facebook Tutorial, during which, I begin to tune out Dad and start searching for menu ideas for the Labor Day BBQ / birthday party we’re throwing this weekend. Exactly how much meat should one buy for 17+ people?  Don’t know.  Turns out, another thing I suck at is throwing parties for large groups.  Today is going to be fun.

In the end, I realize I have no ability to actually get anything done in my personal life and so I surrendered to writing this blog post while searching for symptoms of A.D.D., and pondering how lovely it would be to have a wife to run my life for me.  At least my kitchen would be cleaner.

Happy Labor Day weekend friends!

p.s.  If you’re in Wisconsin, be sure to stop by the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw this weekend.