Most people who know me know I like to eat. I love food. A lot. I love to cook it, smell it, look at it, talk about it, and have people prepare it for me. If you are going to be my friend, however, you must know two very important things about me and food.
1) I HATE cilantro. Cilantro is the Devil. In fact, to say I hate it is a gross understatement. I abhor, detest, LOATHE cilantro. The taste of cilantro makes me want to punch someone in the face. If even a fleck of it crosses my tastebuds, LOOKOUT! I know I’m not alone – there’s a whole world of cilantro haters out there. There’s even an explanation as to why we hate the stuff.
Sadly, I really want to love cilantro. I hate not being able to eat a dish because of it. Stupid cilantro – you’re such a jerk! My poor husband loves the stuff. On our second date, in order to woo him, I brought him a bunch of cilantro wrapped with a ribbon. I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t be around the evil stuff (I can’t. A part of me dies every second I’m near it). He is certain he will be able to change my fate and make me a cilantro lover one day. Uh huh. That’ll happen.
2) I get the most RANDOM and frequently changing food cravings. Not like “Ooh, I’d love something salty right about now”. Or “Wowee, a piece of chocolate would be delightful.” Nope. We’re talking seriously detailed and precise cravings. For example, last night I craved the truffle french fries from our favorite Breckenridge, Colorado restaurant, Modis. I’m in love with these fries. They’re the best fries on the planet (on my planet, anyway). Problem is – they’re 1,151 miles away. My only way out of this pickle was drive to the store to buy a bag of my favorite potato chips. I ate most of the bag while standing in my kitchen, my purse still on my shoulder, and the craving slowly disappeared. But they couldn’t hold a match to those beautiful french fried lovelies (call me!).
This adorable little quirk of mine is a total drag. You see, these cravings are impressively persistent. They don’t go away until they are satisfied, or, until I have moved on to the next craving, which is probably more likely. Remember when I mentioned “frequent”? Yeah – they don’t stop. NON-STOP! It’s a miracle I don’t weigh 250 pounds.
You’re probably wondering…”Why are you telling us this, Lindsay?” I feel you should know these two very important food-related details about me because if we become friends, you will 100%, without a doubt, be subjected to one or both of these shenangigans from time to time.
But other than that, there’s absolutely nothing else wrong with me, so we should be all squared away now.
Are there any foods that make you want to punch someone in the face?